I thought motherhood broke me. Removed my very being and created someone I didn’t even know; created someone I thought I didn’t want to be.

The freedoms I lost. The identity crisis I felt. The overwhelming realization that human beings on this planet were relying on ME to care for them. Feed them. Clothe them and love them.

I contemplated taking my own life. Dark, dark days after my first baby that I can’t soon forget but would not wish on my worst enemy.

To say I haven’t been struggling as of late would be a lie. I had become a shell of the woman I wanted to be for my kids and my husband.

And then I got a video message in my DM’s. @nataliekovarik ‘s beautiful face popped up in a message, inviting me to attend the #RuralRooted @suzyholman school in Golden, Colorado.

I took the chance. A break from my kids; some social media help. But what happened at that retreat…I cannot even hardly quantify into words.

I found my worth. I found my why. I found the true, authentic, beautiful mother I was meant to be. The woman who God placed on this earth to love her babies with a fiery passion and embrace everything that comes my way.

Don’t get me wrong; life ain’t all rainbows and lollipops over here. But damn, life is just too beautiful to be barely getting by and going through the motions.

I highly recommend, if you even have an inkling, to attend a @nataliekovarik x @suzyholman retreat, go do it.

It will change your life.